


I'm a failure

by Internetmeep



Series: Days leading up to Christmas [4]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 13:36:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8753908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Internetmeep/pseuds/Internetmeep
Summary: This weekend was a mess for me so I am venting why in a fic. Ed's pov





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a hormonal wreck right now so sorry but I needed something.

After Isabella d... d... after she um left. I haven't exactly been myself. it's scary being alone. And although I'm living with Ed I just can't help but feel like I'm truly alone. That maybe he doesnt care about me as much as he pretends to. That maybe I'm still messed up in the head. That I still belong in Arkham. I can't help but think I'm a failure at everything and that every girlfriend I have is going to leave me tragically. 

Penguin said I should do something else, clear my head, except clearing my head is almost lijke I am forgetting her. Like she never mattered but she mattered to me. I loved her and then she's taking from me and I'm left to be a spluttering mess again. Only this time, it isn't some mentally insane patient at Arkham, it's the blubbering mess of the deputy mayor.

Ed said that I should at least open my advent calendar, stop him from stealing my piece of chocolate, but I've been biting my nails out of nervousness or seeking the comfort of being a child again I don't know, but anyway I couldn't get into the stupid box. I pushed my finger through the cardboard door to day 4 and, as I tried to get my finger under the door to lift it up, I sliced it on the cardboard. 

Blood started dripping down my finger, but I was in too much pain to do anything, I just stared into space thinking about how I am so much of a failure that I can't even break the small tabs that hold the advent calendar shut. I can't even succeed at a simple, unnecessary task.

Eventually Oswald noticed the blood, as small and shallow as the cut was, it was starting to become noticeable.

"Shit Ed." He called out in a tone that was both concerned and like I was a fucking idiot. "What have you done!"

I looked up at him, tried to explain how I'd got a paper cut, but I choked on the words as they got stuck in my throat, all I could do was remain silent, a look of guilt and embarrassment sweeping my face like a stable hand.

Oswald grabbed a tissue, dipped it in the almost empty glass of water, which was sat on the table next to the sofa that i was sitting on and wiped the blood off my hand.

"I still want the chocolate" i mumbled, accidentally pouting into my double chin, a look which Oswald thoroughly enjoyed.

"Let me do it" Penguin said, slowly taking the advent calendar out of my hand, I hated this, Oswald treating me like I'm vulnerable, however I was starting to realise that maybe I was, and I wasn't going to deny the help in opening the chocolate I desperately needed.  he openEd the door and pulled off the foil letting me take the chocolate from the plastic mould. I gestured to try and get him to sit on the sofa with me, and eventually he understood what i was trying to say. without speaking I rested my head on his shoulder. Soon enough I fell asleep, something I had not yet done since Isabella... erm Left?  I guess.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you don't believe me, getting a paper cut on an adventure calendar is entirely plausible. I've done it twice. This year. I'm 15.


End file.
